My Heart to Yours

Married couples interested in strengthen the bonds of their Marriage!

Are my spouse and I candidates for this course?
· We have a strong marriage but want to make it even better.
· We would categorize our marriage as “mediocre”.
· We are struggling on our marriage, considering divorce or separation.
· We are not married yet, but engaged.

What will this class do for us?

If you acknowledged any of the above, you and your spouse qualify for
this class. If your marriage is great, this class takes you both to a
more intimate level. If your marriage is mediocre, don’t settle for less
than falling in love all over again. If your marriage is in crisis,
allow yourself to hope. Couples across the nation repeatedly testify that
our approach works. Why? We create a dynamic, unique, environment
through which God works His miracles.

Give Us 8 Weeks and We Will Give You a Dynamic Marriage!

In the Dynamic Marriage class, married couples learn how to make their
marriage a full time priority. These couples not only put out the
effort, they put effort in the right places. The Dynamic Marriage class
challenges and empowers couples to transform every aspect of their
marriage. This powerful program helps committed couples sustain a happy,
fulfilling relationship that grows stronger each year.

Do you want marital intimacy and ecstasy? If you do, enroll in this
dynamic class. There is a limit to 12 couples and the fee is $110.00 per
couple which is equal to one hour of marriage counseling. The fee simply
covers all of your materials. The class will begin on Feb. 18 (Sunday
evenings)and will meet at the church. Childcare is available. Class time
is from 5:45- 8:15. To enroll either reply to ljk_lpc2000@yahoo.com
or call Brian or Laura Kuester at 251-1896
or stop by our booth in the mall this coming Sunday to sign up. Hurry
though, the class is limited and will fill up quickly.

Most gracious God, we give you thanks for your tender love in sending Jesus Christ to come among us, to be born of a human mother, and to make the way of the cross to be the way of life.

We thank you, also, for consecrating the union of man and woman in his Name.
By the power of your Holy Spirit, pour out the abundance of your blessing upon this man and this woman.
Defend them from every enemy.
Lead them into all peace.
Let their love for each other be a seal upon their hearts, a mantle about their shoulders, and a crown upon their foreheads.
Bless them in their work and in their companionship; in their sleeping and in their waking; in their joys and in their sorrows; in their life and in their death.
Finally, in your mercy, bring them to that table where your saints feast for ever in your heavenly home; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who with you and the Holy Spirit lives and reigns, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.

source: Book of Common Prayer (1979)

Symptoms of a need for spiritual rebirth…

• Deep unmet longing for intimacy
• A “What’s in it for me?” Mind-set
• A tendency to count - and bemoan - the cost
• An attitude of entitlement
• A general dullness toward God
• A sex life lacking the spiritual dimension
• An avoidance of spiritual disciplines

1. Praise is such a great gift, and it’s so easy to give. So look at the things that make your spouse and others unique and develop the habit of praising them for those special things.

2. Every painful trial is like an oyster, and there is a precious pearl—a personal benefit—in every one; every single one.

3. Don’t go it alone. Welcome fresh insights of other perspectives—from extended family, friends, good marriage books, or a qualified marriage counselor.

4. In a mutually satisfying relationship, both people’s needs are expressed, and they have the flexibility to give and take.

5. Honor goes hand in glove with love, a verb whose very definition is doing worthwhile things for someone who is valuable to us.

6. All our trials, great and small, can bring more of the two best things in life: love for life and love for others.

7. Oneness does not mean that one mate dominates the other or that the stronger controls the weaker.

8. Anger is our choice. We can choose to see its powerful potential for destruction and take steps to reduce it within us. Otherwise, it’s and iceberg sinking our love.

9. Better understanding of the motivations and actions that grow out of our basic personalities can help us achieve personal and marital satisfaction.

10. Sharing deep feelings with each other is emotional intercourse, and it’s vital to sexual satisfaction.

11. As we reach out to another, our own needs for fulfillment and love are met.

12. Give seven or more praises for every one fault-finding suggestion.

Beware! ‘Harmless’ online flirting has real-life consequences, according to a leading researcher on the topic.

By Beatriz Lía Avila Mileham, Ph.D.

The internet has introduced unprecedented dynamics into marital relationships: Never before has it been so easy to enjoy both the stability of marriage and the thrills of the dating scene at the same time.

Among the 649 million Internet users worldwide, countless married men and women can be found in Internet chat rooms at any time of the day and night. Unlike the telephone and love letters before them, Internet chat rooms afford users unlimited, consecutive hours of real-time contact where the process of revealing oneself is accelerated.

To read the entire article go here Cheating By Chatting.

——————————————————————————–

E xpress Love
N urture your relationship
C Cooperate with each other
O bserve ways to creatively demonstrate love
U nderstand — don’t lecture
R emember your blessings
A ccept each other
G row together
E njoy each other

Dr. Howard Markman and Dr. Scott Stanley have discovered through over 20 years of research that there are four main risk factors (germs) that can lead to divorce. In their excellent book, Fighting For Your Marriage, they share that we greatly increase our chances of staying in love and in harmony if we avoid these four negative patterns. Here are the four main “germs” that can produce too much anger and possibly lead to divorce:

1. Withdrawal during an argument. Here one mate closes the other person out after an argument starts. For example, statements like:

“I’m not talking about that any more, it’s too hurtful.”
“I’ll just leave the house if you continue talking about this. End of discussion; it’s over.”
“That subject is not open for discussion.”

2. Escalating during an argument. Here, the argument can get ugly. Escalation is when a person starts defending or trying to win an argument. Here, he or she volleys back and forth with shame and defensive statements. For example, shouting, blaming each other, using degrading names directed at your mate and trying to win the argument instead of cooperating as a team to solve the disagreement. Statements like the following might be used during escalation:

“Don’t you ever accuse me of that again!”
“It’s your fault that he talks to me like that, you’re a great example!”
“Forget it then. Go out with your friends, see if I care! Stay out all night, you like them better than me anyway.”
There is usually an over use of the word “you” in an accusatory manner.

3. Belittling each other during an argument. Here, one mate accuses the other of being “dumb” or “stupid” in their thinking or feelings. Somehow, one mate is trying to belittle the other and prove that he or she is better than the other is. This is the most destructive potential divorce risk pattern. It is also the opposite choice of honor.

“That’s the dumbest statement I have ever heard.”
“When will you ever get it right?”
“You’ve been thinking from the wrong part of your body.”

4. Having exaggerated or false beliefs about your mate during an argument. Here, one mate may believe that the other is trying to ruin or weaken the marriage on purpose.

“You’re always including your family. They’ve been between us our whole married life!” “You don’t see it do you? You’re too negative and it’s driving me away!” “You say you’re sorry, but you keep doing the same mean things over and over. You’ll never change!” The major problem with this fourth germ is that what humans believe about another, they tend to see and hear even if it isn’t true. In other words, what you believe about another person (positive or negative), you will find evidence of that belief in everything he or she does or says.

A Conversation about Marriage
By Armstrong Williams
April 6, 2006

The single most overlooked reason why America struggles is simple: Divorce. Nearly 60 percent of marriages end in divorce and most of the social problems in our country can be traced back to this embarrassing fact. It may sound radical or even naive to blame our social problems on divorce, but until we start thinking of marriage as that important, our country will never reach its potential.

Currently, our culture is explicitly concerned with the war, education, health care, terrorism, and the economy. And rightfully so. All of these things are critical to the success of our nation and to each of us. However, they are not the most important issues facing our country today. Marriage is. A strong marriage creates a strong household. A strong household produces strong children. Strong children produce a strong society. It’s a cyclical affect that has been forgotten and ignored in the last 50 years.

Until our leaders start fighting for marriage in Congress, our churches start focusing on marriage in their temples, and each of us start laboring for our marriage in our households, our country will continue to fall short.

© Armstrong Williams “The Right Side” 2006
To read the entire article go here: A Conversation about Marriage