• Negative body language
• Failing to fully listen
• Withdrawing
• Changing the subject
• Clamming up or pouting
• Losing control
• Overblowing everything
• Attempting to mind read or psychoanalyze
• Seeking peace at any cost
• Turning up the volume on the TV
(Found this in my In Box today. How True!!!)
The Scars of Life
Some years ago, on a hot summer day in south Florida, a little boy decided to go for a swim in the old swimming hole behind his house. In a hurry to dive into the cool water, he ran out the back door, leaving behind shoes, socks, and shirt as he went.
He flew into the water, not realizing that as he swam toward the middle of the lake, an alligator was swimming toward the shore.
His father working in the yard saw the two as they got closer and closer together. In utter fear, he ran toward the water, yelling to his son as loudly as he could.
Hearing his voice, the little boy became alarmed and made a U-turn to swim to his father. It was too late. Just as he reached his father, the alligator reached him. From the dock, the father grabbed his little boy by the arms just as the alligator snatched his legs. That began an incredible tug-of-war between the two. The alligator was much stronger than the father, but the father was much too passionate to let go. A farmer happened to drive by, heard his screams, raced from his truck, took aim and shot the alligator.
Remarkably, after weeks and weeks in the hospital, the little boy survived. His legs were extremely scarred by the vicious attack of the animal. And, on his arms, were deep scratches where his father’s fingernails dug into his flesh in his effort to hang on to the son he loved.
The newspaper reporter who interviewed the boy after the trauma, asked if he would show him his scars. The boy lifted his pant legs. And then, with obvious pride, he said to the reporter, “But look at my arms. I have great scars on my arms, too. I have them because! My Dad wouldn’t let go.”
You and I can identify with that little boy. We have scars, too. No, not from an alligator, but the scars of a painful past. Some of those scars are unsightly and have caused us deep regret. But, some wounds, my friend, are because God has refused to let go. In the midst of your struggle, He’s been there holding on to you.
The Scripture teaches that God loves you. You are a child of God. He wants to protect you and provide for you in every way, but sometimes we foolishly wade into dangerous situations, not knowing what lies ahead. The swimming hole of life is filled with peril - and we forget that the enemy is waiting to attack. That’s when the tug-of-war begins - and if you have the scars of His love on your arms, be very, very grateful. He did not and will not ever let you go.
You just never know where a person is in his/her life and what they are going through.
Never judge another persons scars, because you don’t know how they got them.
Right now, someone needs to know that God loves them, and you love them, too- enough to not let them go.
1 . MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIPS ARE DYNAMIC. They’re alive and always changing. They need to be fed and stimulated to stay alive.
2. THERE’S ALWAYS SOMETHING NEW ABOUT YOUR SPOUSE. Dating is a good way to create a safe environment. Your spouse is more likely to let you know “what’s new!”
3. INVEST IN THE FUTURE. Just like a savings account — it’s easier to add a little to an existing account and watch it grow than to start a new one from scratch. That’s because the interest grows exponentially over time.
4. YOU GOT MARRIED BECAUSE YOU DATED! It only stands to reason that a good way to stay married is to keep dating.
5. MARRIAGE CAN BE COMPARED TO A SET OF TIRES. During the course of driving, there’s normal wear and tear. Dating serves to maintain alignment, balance and pressure. When done well, your marriage will last a lifetime.
6. DATING IS AN OPPORTUNITY TO FOCUS. Day in and day out, various distractions, pull your attention away from your spouse. Dating each other helps you to refocus on the person at the top of your priority list.
7. REMEMBER THE GOOD TIMES! A good date will often bring up pre-marriage memories. Recalling memories can generate anticipation for your next meeting.
8. CREATE YOUR FUTURE. Dating lays the framework for future family gatherings. Great dates attract your spouse and family to want to spend time with you.
9. LAUGHTER’S THE BEST MEDICINE. It must be true. Laughing together makes it possible to hurt together when you must.
10. REMIND YOUR SPOUSE, “I LOVE YOU!” There are many ways to say, “I love you!” A date is one of the special ways to honor your spouse.
The Lie that Binds The Truth that Sets Free
I need to do something I need to give up on myself
I am too weak I’m strong in Christ when I am weak
I need to learn to cope I need to give up on my resources
I need a program I need the person of Christ
I need biblical principles I need the life of Christ
The issue is behavior The issue is identity
I need more committment I need to believe God & trust Him
I need to achieve victory I need to receive Christ”s Victory
I need to try harder I need to trust Christ more
Jesus said “You will know the truth
and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32).
Marvin Phillips! Passion, love, excitement,determination, compassion, kindness……. Christlike! There are not enough words to describe this man and his passion for the Lord. He has been such a big part of my life. He was at the hospital the day I was born and was the preacher od the church I went to for 25 years. He married my husband and I and continue to have the utmost respect and admiration for this man. He has led more people to Christ than anyone I know and has such a heart for the lost.
To hear that some, even from his home congregation, have no respect or admiration for him and are even making false claims about him is sickening! It reaffirms to me what kind of deception is going on there. I am concerned for the people that I care about that are still there.
Nevertheless, Marvin is an amazing man, and has touched the lives of many. Check out his website and if you feel so inclined, donate to his cause…. actually Christ’s cause.
Do’s of a Marriage
• Good communication
• Ability to resolve conflicts
• Shared interests and goals
• Flexibility in problem solving
Ten Reasons Divorce isn’t the Answer
• It rarely solves the problem
• It is a financial disaster
• It blocks personal growth and maturity
• It sets you up to repeat your difficulty with someone else
• It hardens your heart
• It weakens your faith
• It increases your loneliness
• It devastates your children
• It hurts friends and relatives
• It impacts your legacy
Michael J. McManus at MarriageSavers.org suggests that a church can cut the divorce rate in its congregation by adopting six goals.
1. Avoid a bad marriage before it begins by administering a premarital inventory to give couples an objective view of strengths and areas for growth. A tenth of couples who take an inventory decide not to marry. Studies indicate that those who break up, have the same scores as those who marry and later divorce. They have avoided a bad marriage before it begins.
2. Give “marriage insurance” to the engaged — a 95% guarantee that their marriage will go the distance. In our home church in Bethesda, Harriet and I trained 64 mentor couples. Of 302 couples we prepared for marriage from 1992-2000, 21 dropped out of the course, mostly to break up. Another 34 couples completed the process, and decided not to marry. That’s 50+ couples who decided not to marry. But of those couples who married, there have been only seven divorces. That’s a 3% failure rate - or a 97% success rate over a decade – marriage insurance.
3. Enrich all existing marriages by conducting an annual weekend event at the church, using a marital inventory, speakers, or videos.
4. Restore four out of five troubled marriages with trained “back-from-the-brink couples” (whose own marriages once nearly failed) to mentor couples in crisis. A couple that was nearly driven apart by adultery – but survived, has something to say to a couple in crisis regarding infidelity. The reconciled couple can say, “We know adultery breaks trust. We’ve been there, done that. But trust can be restored. Let us tell you our story. And let us pray with you.” These wounded healers have a credibility that pastors and counselors do not have.
5. Reconcile the separated using a self-guided workbook course, “Reconciling God’s Way.” A same gender support partner meets with the spouse trying to save their marriage for 12 weeks. The course heals more than half of marriages experiencing separations.
6. Help stepfamilies succeed by creating “Stepfamily Support Groups” to give couples with children from a previous marriage a place and a plan to learn how to be successful parents and partners. Instead of losing 65% of stepparents to divorce, they save four out of five of them.
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