My Heart to Yours

“Life is 10 percent what happens to us and 90 percent how we respond to it. Attitude is the single most significant decision I make every day.” - Chuck Swindoll

PSALM 34: 1 I will bless the Lord at all times and His PRAISE shall continually be in my mouth.
PSALM 34: 13 Keep your tongue (mouth) from evil and your lips from speaking deceit.
PSALM 37: 30 The mouth of the righteous utters wisdom, and his tongue speaks with justice.
PSALM 10:7 The wicked man’s mouth is full of cursing, deceit, oppression (fraud); under his tongue are trouble and sin (mischief and iniquity.)
PSALM 39:1 I said, I will take heed and guard my ways, that I may sin not with my tongue; I will muzzle my mouth as with a bridle while the wicked are before me.
PSALM 59: 12 For the sin of their mouths and the words of their lips, let them even be trapped and taken in their pride, and for the cursing and lying which they utter.
PSALM 49:3 My mouth shall speak wisdom: and the meditation of my heart shall be understanding.
PSALM 55: 21 The words of his mouth were smoother than cream or butter, but war was in his heart; his words were softer than oil yet they were drawn swords. (deceitful and sharp hurtful words)
PROVERBS 4: 24 Put away from you false and dishonest speech, and willful and contrary talk put far from you.
PROVERBS 8: 7 For my mouth shall utter truth, and wrongdoing is detestable and loathsome to my lips. All the words of my mouth are righteous and there is nothing contrary to truth or crooked in them.

Are your words mighty or miserable? All the words of our mouth should be righteous and there should be nothing said that is crooked or contrary to the truth. Above, are but a few of the scriptures that talk about our words. We know that God’s Word is powerful and full of energy to complete the work it was sent to do. Did you also know that words spoken in vain or empty words also have power? The Bible tells us that life and death are in the power of our tongue. (Proverbs 18:21) I don’t think we realize that we can build up or tear down with the words we speak. When negative words are spoken over a small child, they will grow up believing the lies and will act on them. When you degrade someone or belittle them you are speaking death to their spirit. When you encourage them with positive words, reinforcing their good points, you are speaking life into their spirit.

As a counselor, many of the clients I work with have been affected by negative words. God tells us to speak grace to the hearer and to watch out for the tongue which is a fire ignited by hell. Ever here someone say “She has a sharp tongue”? That implies that our tongues can be used as weapons to tear someone apart. God forbid that we harm or discourage anyone today with our words. Lets all strive to watch what we say and also the tone we use to say our words. James tells us in chapter 3: 10 “Out of the same mouth come forth blessing and cursing, these things ought not to be.”

Many adult men and women have been bruised by harsh and abusive words. Many are wounded by words that pierce their heart and crush their spirit. Many times these people are very soft spoken themselves and that causes others to take advantage of their quiet spirit. As powerful as these demeaning words are the Word of God can and will overcome the damage and repair their souls to a healthy outlook of who they are in Christ Jesus. The Word of God tells us what our Heavenly Father thinks of us and when we meditate on His words and believe them to be true, we truly become the new creature in Christ that we were meant to be. It is also important to use our tongues to encourage and remind each other that we are precious sons and daughters of the living God and the Apple of His eye. We can be a part of the restoration process in the life of one who has been wounded by harsh abusive words.

• It’s an investment
• It’s a chance to get to know someone’s feelings better
• It’s polite
• It’s a sign that I’m interested in the other person
• It’s a privilege
• It provides me the chance to be heard at a later time

How To Listen To Your Wife…

• Whatever you’re doing, drop it and focus on her
• Look her in the eye
• Nod every once in a while to show you hear what she’s saying
• Verbally connect
• Repeat key things she says to you
• Keep your body language open

• Marriage is God’s Idea
• All that God created is good, but marriage is seen by God as “very
good”
• God created Eve and brought her into Adam’s life because Adam was
incomplete
• Marriage, at it’s core, is about companionship
• Marriage, by design, is intended for one husband and one wife, for
life
• Marriage involves the establishment of a brand-new household
• Marriage is intended to be an intimate union

(Soooo cute, got this in an e-mail yesterday!)

• Realize an affair never solves marital problems; it compounds them

• Understand that an affair may be exciting, but the odds are that
it will destroy any possibility of salvaging a marriage

• Acknowledge that it’s no sin to be tempted; the sin comes in
yielding to the temptation

• Become accountable to someone

• Watch what you feed your mind and what you think about

• Go to work on your own marriage

More and more research is showing that a happy marriage is good
for your health—especially your heart and immune system. Couples
in unhappy marriages suffer more physical signs of stress, such
as higher blood pressure and the stress hormone, cortisol. This
latest research has concentrated on the personal lives and
relationships of 105 men and women ages 52 and 62 who were
married or in long-term relationships. The study measured blood
pressure and used saliva tests to show levels of the stress
hormone, cortisol. Subjects were also asked how stressed they
felt at regular points over the course of a day. Then they filled
in questionnaires about their relationships, covering issues such
as whether their partner was critical of them and if they felt
listened to. Feelings of irritability and distress were also gauged.

The study, published in the journal Annals of Behavioral Medicine
found clear signs that those in unhappy marriages were more
physiologically stressed throughout the day than those in
positive relationships. The research was carried out by Rosalind
Barnett of Brandeis University in the United States and Professor
Andrew Steptoe of University College in London.

Higher levels of cortisol are related to decreased immune system
functioning. As we remind couples in our Marriage Prep 101
workshops-healthy relationships, exercise and sex are great ways
to reduce the stress hormone, cortisol and be healthy!

We know sex is fun but did you know it can also make you healthy?
Frequent sex (once or more per week) may help us to live longer
and healthier according to Dr. Stephen Bogdewic, of Family
Medicine at Indiana University School of Medicine.
“If a new drug had that same impact, virtually every doctor in
the country would be recommending it.”

Sex offers many health benefits that may be initially overlooked.
First, it’s a physical activity that gets the heart pumping and
gives the muscles a workout. (However, a half-hour of sex only
burns about 50 calories, so don’t think this can be your only
form of exercise!) It also triggers the release of endorphins,
natural opiates, and oxytocin, a hormone that encourages us to
bond. Oxytocin is the same hormone that is released when a mother
nurses her baby, so now wonder it makes us want to cuddle! Blood
flow to the brain is increased and fresh oxygen pulses through
our body. Studies show that sex stimulates the immune system.
Regular sex also improves mental health by putting us in a better
mood and improving our sleep.