My Heart to Yours

I want to be free to be who God created me to be. Free to live like the much loved child that I am . Free to consistently feel like a beloved daughter instead of a rag clutching orphan. Free to dance, to sing to worship to laugh.

Actually, I am free because Christ has set me free. But sometimes I don’t live like I am. Do you ever feel that way too? You know in your head that Jesus is the answer to all your needs, but you have a fight with your husband… and suddenly that oreo cheesecake in the fridge looks mighty tasty. Your not hungry but you are just so ticked that you cannot see straight. So you eat the whole thing. Then you are mad at yourself and you feel even worse than before. Or maybe you have been invited to a ladies event and you want to go…but you don’t have anything to wear and you think you will feel out of place and conspicuous so you stay home. You want people to like you and you want to fit in, you want God to be pleased with you, you want chocolate or just one more pair of black shoes.

And you wish things were different. You wish you weren’t so uptight about wanting your house (or hair or kids) to look as nice as your friends, and you wish you didn’t always say yes to everything. You wish you were a better wife, mom and better friend. You wish you could control your temper- control everything for that matter. You wish you could be free from all that once and for all. Free to let go of all things that hold you back, down or captive.

A couple of posts down I mentioned “modern day idols”. An idol is anything, person, place, idea, substance or activity that you turn to first before God for comfort, pleasure, satisfaction, purpose or meaning in life. Something you think you can’t live with out like chocolate. God is still God and he still says He’ll have no other God’s before me.

Here is what I am wanting to do: Help me come up with a list of “modern day idols” and then I want to talk about some of them. I am sure I am captive to some things that I am not even aware of. Here are a few of my thoughts:
1. Busyness (which I already slightly touched on)
2. Food
3. Image
4. Possessions
5. Independence
6. Achievement

What else? Help me come up with a more conclusive list.

Jonah 2:8 “Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs”.

1 John 5:21 “Dear children, keep yourselves from idols.”

After five and a half years of being a mother I truely thought I had experienced well…almost everything. Until yesterday! I am thankful to tell you that I have not had to deal with “stomach viruses” with my children until yesterday. But it all stops there. When Olivia began throwing up (I almost did too) I wasn’t sure what to do. I called my husband to ask him to check his computer for a pediatrician website. He said, “Just call the doctors office.” In the meantime I was supposed to hold puking toddler, change and clean up the mess, call the doctors office and console crying toddler who has no idea what is happening to her. AGGHHH!!!!

All in a days work!!

By the way…. we are doing a little better today!

I want to tell you about someone who found freedom from his trappings, not to mention a whopping dose of grace while in the most unusual place. You could say Jonah was in a whale of a predicament. In case you are not familiar with this underwater adventure, Jonah was the Old Testament prophet whom God told to go one way but who decided instead to go in the opposite direction, taking an ocean cruise to flee from the Lord (Jonah 1:3). Since God frowns on such behavior, he sent a storm to rock Jonah’s boat, so to speak. The crew members ended up tossing Jonah overboard, which calmed the raging sea but left the prophet looking for a life preserver.

Then along came a fish. One gulp and Jonah gave a whole new meaning to the word seafood. He spent the next three days and nights in the belly of the whale. Now, pay close attention to what comes next: “From inside the fish Jonah prayed” (Jonah 2:1). Isn’t that wild? I mean, if you have just been swallowed by a huge fish what else are you going to do? But really look at Jonah’s prayer for a minute. It wasn’t entirely one of distress. He didn’t whine and moan and complain about his accomodations. Instead he acknowledged that it was God who place him in a fish belly (v.3). Then with seaweed wrapped around his head, he expressed grattitude to the Lord for bringing his life up from the pit (v.6). (Remember, he was still inside the fish when he prayed this- and with no secret escape hatch or emergency exit in sight!) He said, “When my life was ebbing away, I remebered you Lord, and my prayer rose to you, to your holy temple” (v.7). From inside the belly of a fish, knowing he is fish bait, Jonah gave praise to the Lord. Don’t you just love it?

He also said something that has haunted me: “Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs” (v.8). It doesn’t say what those idols were or whose they were, but if you ask me, if I am the one treading water from inside some fish, the only idols I would be thinking about would be my own.

So here is my personal theory on Jonah’s situation. We hold on to things (we cling to worthless idols), seeking comfort, affirmation, self worth and love from them because we don’t truely know who God is. Before we know it, we are trapped.

I am trapped when I seek approval from others, forgetting that God is the one true lover of my souls, the One who takes great delight in me and rejoices over me with singing (Zephania 3:17). I am trapped when I buy yet one more pink t-shirt to add to my already stuffed closet, forgetting that God has clothed me with Christ himself (Galatians 3:27). The list goes on and on as you all have pointed out to me by your comments left here about the various idols.

The main point I want to make is that knowing God sets us free and enables us to let go of the things we cling so tightly to because HE IS SO MUCH GREATER! That is what Jonah realized deep in the belly of the fish. That is what we need to realize to.

You think this over and we’ll talk more later!

If knowing God enables me to rid myself of the things that hold me and if he frees me to experience the lavishness of his glorious grace, then that is what I want! To know Him truly, deeply, experientially. To know that I know. To be so filled with the knowledge of Him that I would gladly cast aside anything standing in my way. I want that for you, too!!

Last night I was sharing with my husband some current frustrations, disappointment in certain people, and just down right discouragement issues. As he prayed over me God gave me a few beautiful things to remember:

1. Ride out the storm- Some people never realize their potential because they are beaten down by the storms of life and give up too soon. I must not quit!

2. Realize that God uses ordinary people. I don’t have to be a spiritual giant to experience God’s grace in my life. He chooses ordinary people to accomplish extraordinary things for Him (1 Cor. 1:26, 27)

3. Don’t be defeated by the negatives. I must keep my focus on Christ and the wonderful possibilities in my life. Listening to the negative voices will only discourage me. I think the negative voices are sometimes worse from “christians” than the world. How sad!

4. Focus on Christ. It helps to envision what He can do for me and what I can do for Him. No life is meaningless if Christ is at the center.

5. Remember that I am special. God uniquely created me and designed me to serve Him. No one else can do what I can do for Him. I must not give up just because of challenges and obstacles.

6. Focus on behavior. I must do what is right no matter how I feel. I should make sure my behavior determines my feelings rather than allowing my feelings to determine my behavior. This sets me free to be creative, confident, and committed.

7. Be persistent.

8. I actualize the impossible when I honor God with my life.

Just some thoughts I had while laying in bed last night. I thank you BJK for taking up your sword and battling for me when I felt to weak to do it on my own. Thank you M.C., S.B., M.B., and everyone else is who praying for me. I feel the strength of your prayers.

Part two of the story……

The theif comes to kill, steal and destroy……

After I peacefully went off to sleep I woke up with one of the most aweful nightmares that I have had in a long time. I even woke my husband up to walk around the house and make sure everything was ok. I was so terrified that I could not even move I just layed there for the longest time. You see I was hearing noises that weren’t there and having a horrific nightmare that I was being chased down to be killed. (no I am not schizophrenic) It was only when he came back to bed that I realized that Satan was trying to steal what the Lord had given me. He wanted me to be fearful instead of peaceful and this was his nasty tactic. After praying in the name of Jesus and commanding Satan to leave I victoriously went back to sleep. Not another peep from the old bad guy. At least not for those other 5 hours. I am sure he has something else up his sleeve for me today.

Friends, spiritual warfare is real. I am thankful for all of my prayer warriors. Let me know how I can battle for you today!

As for you Satan……………………….GET BEHIND ME!!!!

Proverbs 31:26 - She openeth her mouth with wisdom: and in her tongue is law of kindness.
Have you ever been around someone who always seems to have the right thing to say? Is there someone who, when you need advice, you know that you can trust their counsel? Is there someone to whom you can turn when the chips are down and you just need a pick-me-up? Someone who would never speak badly about anyone else, so you know that your name and reputation is safe?

James 1:26 If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man’s religion is vain.
James 3:2-13 For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body, Behold, we put bits in the horses’ mouths, that they may obey us: and we turn about their whole body. Behold also the ships, which though they be so great, and are driven of fierce winds, yet are they turned about with a very small helm, whithersoever the governor listeth. Even so, the tongue is a little member and boasteth great things. Behold how great a matter a little fire kindleth!

And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the the tongue among our members: that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature: and is set on fire of hell.

For every kind if beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind. But the tongue can no man tame: it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.

Therewith bless we God, even the Father: and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessin and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be. Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter? Can the fig tree, my brethren, bear olive branches? either a vine, figs? so can no fountain both yield salt water and fresh.

Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness and wisdom.

Our mouths speak who we are inside. Our voices ring with our character. A tender heart is ready to forgive. A loving mouth speaks kindness. Wisdom pours from the lips of a heart that seeks God.

A friend sent me the words to this awesome song today. I love this song, in fact my husband plays this on his guitar. It is a beutiful representation of what I want to be about. To know and follow hard after YOU!!

One Pure and Holy Passion

Give me one pure and holy passion
And give me one magnificent obsession
Give me one glorious ambition for my life
To know and follow hard after You

To know and follow hard after You
To grow as Your disciple in the truth
This world is empty, pale and poor
Compared to knowing You, my Lord
Lead me on and I will run after You
Lead me on and I will run after You

God, I desire this, Lead me on….Thank you

Narnia live!
It looks like Disney has signed on alongside Walden entertainment to bring to the screen in 2005 the first film in the Chronicles of Narnia series. The first movie will be The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe and it will be filmed on location in New Zealand! Peter Jackson’s WETA Workshop will be handling all of the digital effects and the guy who directed Shrek is directing (but it’s not animated). A bit more about it here.